No matter how far you go—whether on foot or in the vast maze of life, there’s no escaping the fact that we are family. As said in the iconic 70’s Sister Sledge record, the movies we grew up watching, and the customs that bind communities together—family is a fundamental component of human society.
As Filipinos, we are raised to value family over all things; after all, it was our parents who were responsible for our existence, as well as ensuring our basic needs are met. Moreover, our relatives made a great deal of sacrifices all in the name of our success and well-being. You, as a child born into the next generation, owe it all to your family—not only by expressing gratitude through word of mouth, but also in long-term reciprocity through your actions—giving back through material or immaterial means—and displaying utmost loyalty to the people who made you who you are today. That is called “utang na loob.”
Translated as “debt from within” in English, the utang na loob culture is not only practiced within family bloodlines—it often extends to friends, business associates, and community members who helped you get far in life at some point in time.
To properly understand the concept of utang na loob, it’s essential to know the cultural nuances and the defining factors that make the Filipino people who they are. The Philippines, alongside African and other Asian nations, are examples of high-context societies, meaning that identity is rooted in culture and groups of shared values over individual accomplishment—from centralized relationship dynamics to modes of communication marked by subtlety, politeness, and non-verbal cues. This is in stark contrast to low-context societies, which mostly comprise Western countries known for their straightforwardness and decentralized social structure.
As a high-context society, Filipino culture is fraught with altruistic traditions that foster a sense of community, togetherness, and shared identity. The culture of pakikisama, or engaging with the community to address common issues, and kapwa, the notion of “shared being” are primary examples of such. Additionally, as a Catholic nation, utang na loob is also widely considered to be a virtue of respect for our parents, as inscribed in the Bible.
In knowing the true essence of Filipino culture, some show utang na loob out of one’s own will as a form of genuine appreciation for their loved ones—but more often than not, such a practice can be easily abused and construed in a way that people are obligated to fulfill their debt over a lifetime, otherwise be marked as an object of shame.
A toxic example of this is the feud between Olympic gymnast Carlos Yulo and his mother, Angelica Yulo. The historic double-gold medalist took a stand for himself in a video he posted, and while maintaining utmost courtesy, criticized his mother for having claimed his earnings without his consent and never returned them, as well as the harsh comments she made directed toward his girlfriend, Chloe San Jose. While some netizens praised Yulo for responding to mistreatment, some were quick to comment that mother still knows best, calling him out for “not having utang na loob.”
We all know that no perfect family exists, and thus, there is no perfect society. When abused, utang na loob sparks a pressure to live up to expectations and not make a fuss about it—but that’s just not how people are designed to function. People grow up and eventually reach the point where they are capable of making decisions for the betterment of themselves, not to serve others.
It’s about time families raise their children not to be their long-term investments or retirement plans, but as individuals with their own dreams and self-established purpose. Parenthood is always a choice to begin with, and our parents are mandated by the Family Code to sustain us. Instead, the primary concern of a family must be how they will rear a child in such a manner that they may touch the lives of those around them, prompting them to give back to their inner circle.
Utang na loob is not inherently a bad thing—which is why it’s also important to be in touch with our culture and the morals we imbibe. By equipping ourselves with the ability to discern between customs that are healthy and those that cut away at our liberty, we can maintain the balance of upholding cultural practices and self-autonomy. When we allow ourselves to learn and eventually unlearn things, we can break vicious cycles of generational trauma and foster a culture where utang na loob can be freely given.
Graphics by Sabine Chua
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