Dear Santa,
I know I’m too old for this, but I have been a good teacher all year round. I have wracked my brain to create interactive course works for my students, I have made myself available to my students after school hours, during the weekends, and even on holidays, and I have listened to their suggestions and complaints to lessen their workload and adjust the deadlines. I’m starting to understand how doctors feel during their 80 hour work weeks!
I am aware that I’m writing this a bit early, but I fear that I would have no more time to do so later on. I mean, who knows when I’ll find any more free time in the next few months as even right now, I’m squeezing writing this letter in between my classes as I drink my afternoon coffee — yes, afternoon coffee, I have 4 more classes later and I don’t think I’ll survive without some caffeine in my system. I’m even too afraid to look at my laptop right in front of me, fearing the monstrous amount of unread emails just waiting for me in my inbox. Believe it or not, the little ding of notifications is starting to give me anxiety so I had to turn it off completely. So I hope that you’ll show some sympathy and fulfill some of my Christmas wishes.
These days I feel like I have my face glued to my laptop screen and it’s scorching my poor eyes so I would like to request a new pair of eyes with some special blue light filter. However, if that’s not possible some blue light glasses would be cool too. I would also like insurance for my back. All these sitting and poor postures have made it sore, and even laying down on my soft mattress won’t make it go away! I’d also like a soundproofing system to drown out the noise from my neighbors and that darned rooster that has an even worse body clock than I do. However, if you’re feeling extra generous this year, I would like a new computer with a system that automatically reads and replies to my emails and grades my students’ outputs for me, as well as some sort of contraption that cooks my meals and cleans my house for me cause honestly, I don’t even have personal time anymore! Additionally, a month-long paid leave would also be very much appreciated.
On the practical side, I would really appreciate it if you could some- how make my students open their cameras and use their mics. I’m tired of talking to blank screens and waiting for a reply from my students, I feel like I’m going crazy. Aside from that, telling them to give intelligent replies aside from a “yes” and a “no” would boost my confidence as a teacher. Also, please do remind them to finish their tasks before the dead- lines and to only contact me during school hours. I know you’re going to be sending them their gifts individually, so it would be nice if you add this in your letter attached to their gifts.
Well, Santa, my next class is starting soon and students are starting to enter the call so I’ll end this letter here. Hope you stay safe and remember to wash your hands always! I’m not sure if you’re going to be doing the gift-giving yourself, so if you decide to use a courier to deliver it instead, please inform me in advance! I would also prefer it to be delivered on Sundays. Thanks.
Yours always, a teacher at Zoom High School.
P.S. If you can keep my students happy and give them a wonderful Christmas break this year despite the pandemic, you may overlook all of my wishes.
Disclaimer: This is just for comedic purposes, and this in no way aims to offend anyone.
Literature by Sophia Chua
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